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Gay Vampires by Joe Camhi
I would love some opinions and criticism of this story poem:
Gay Vampires
In my motel room there’s something queer.
Suddenly, I know they’re near.
I chug a jug of wine to thaw the icy fear.
Black capes, white teeth, and blood red lips.
Pale skin, high heels, and swinging hips.
They’re here for me! I better quickly disappear.
In New Orleans is the Fairy Queen,
Mistress of the gothic scene.
She’s the hottest ancient witch that I have ever seen.
A loose black sweater and tight black jeans.
I shouldn’t have come to New Orleans.
And when she danced away, it made me feel real mean.
It’s noon but it’s still dark and gray.
Why won’t the sun appear today?
Throw clothes in bags; grab car keys. Get the hell away.
I got to get far from the boys she sent.
I’m not gay or undead--I don’t experiment.
If you want the Fairy Queen, you will repent, they say.
She was dancing in a burlesque show,
So pretty and so hetero.
She is all woman--how the hell was I to know?
Heart beating the beat as the stripper strips.
Eyes tearing staring at hypnotic hips.
I’ll leave Louisiana. Flee to Mexico.
I bought a new identity,
A passport with a fake ID.
Lost weight and shaved my beard, so I don’t look like me.
I sharpen wood. I stay awake.
I sprinkle garlic on my stake.
And when I see a mirror, it isn’t me I see.
With names like Sebastian, they think they’re cool.
But these names get humans beaten in school.
And your dad says, “See that mirror there? You see a fool.
Take off that makeup. Are you a queer?
Throw out the leather and S and M gear.
This is my house, you hear? And here is where I rule.”
They’re near the door; I hear a noise.
It has to be the witch’s boys.
What the Fairy Queen is done with, she destroys.
She’ll take you home and dance all day.
When the moon appears, she’ll stop and say,
“Wake up. Let’s play with my beautiful boy toys.”
I think they’re pretty. That bothers me.
But they’re not human, so I can’t be
Feeling a type of homosexuality.
The Greek word “homo” means “the same,”
So there must be another name,
But I won’t wait to see taxonomists agree.
Right now it’s time to leave this place.
I crash through the window, cut my face.
The bleeding drives them mad with lust. They start to chase
Me, so I grab a sharpened stick.
Before they suck you, you’ll feel a big prick.
I quickly get inside my car and start to race.
A cross hangs from my rearview mirror.
Their fangs are near and getting nearer.
The Fairy Queen’s still laughing. In my mind I hear her.
I fly down the road. They fly above me.
The Fairy Queen will never love me.
If you see her dancing, don’t go near her--fear her.
One kicks in my windshield, lands on my hood.
In my lap, I hold the piece of wood.
I stick it through him, thrusting hard. It feels so good.
I lose control. Before I crash,
His head explodes. He turns to ash.
And as I smash the car, there’s smoke where he had stood.
I’m on the ground, and they surround me.
I ask Sebastian why they hound me.
Sebastian’s laughing as he slowly walks around me.
He picks me up. I think I’m dying.
I’m in his arms. I think we’re flying.
He says the Fairy Queen is happy that they found me.
I wake up in the witch’s lair.
The Fairy Queen is standing there.
She’s so damned hot. I’m frozen. I can only stare.
Her eyes, dark crystals, hypnotize me.
I whisper, “Why do you despise me?”
She combs her fingers through her long black, kinky hair.
She laughs, “Despise you? You’re nothing to me.
Screw you. You’ll never screw me.
You think you love me, but you only want to do me.
Now, I’ll remove that painful longing,
Give you a feeling of belonging.
You never loved me, dear. You never really knew me.
“It would have been an awful pity
If I had let you leave this city.
You’ve lost a lot of weight and shaved. You look so pretty.
You’ll join Sebastian and the guys.
Life sucks. Your luck is craps--snake eyes
Scar your neck, but there’s no reason for self-pity.”
She holds a mirror to my face.
My heavy heart begins to race.
My reflection fades then disappears without a trace.
I’m crazed with anger. It’s horrific!
How will I ever look terrific?
If I can’t use a mirror, I can’t go anyplace.
But Sebastian and the boys look great.
They’ll give me beauty tips and… Wait!
My foggy mind is in a strangely altered state.
These thoughts are curiously queer.
I try to make them disappear:
I think of football, close my eyes, and concentrate.
And in my mind is a sportscaster.
He says I run, so I blast past her.
The witch is laughing. She says, “Stay! Obey your master.”
And I realize that I’m crying.
Her boys are chasing me, we’re flying,
But they’re out of breath with laughter. I fly faster.
A cheap motel, a lumpy bed,
I’m on the run, one step ahead.
The Fairy Queen is always laughing in my head.
And when a human woman’s near,
Gay vampires appear.
There is no sun. I have become the living dead.
by Joe Camhi
Gay Vampires
In my motel room there’s something queer.
Suddenly, I know they’re near.
I chug a jug of wine to thaw the icy fear.
Black capes, white teeth, and blood red lips.
Pale skin, high heels, and swinging hips.
They’re here for me! I better quickly disappear.
In New Orleans is the Fairy Queen,
Mistress of the gothic scene.
She’s the hottest ancient witch that I have ever seen.
A loose black sweater and tight black jeans.
I shouldn’t have come to New Orleans.
And when she danced away, it made me feel real mean.
It’s noon but it’s still dark and gray.
Why won’t the sun appear today?
Throw clothes in bags; grab car keys. Get the hell away.
I got to get far from the boys she sent.
I’m not gay or undead--I don’t experiment.
If you want the Fairy Queen, you will repent, they say.
She was dancing in a burlesque show,
So pretty and so hetero.
She is all woman--how the hell was I to know?
Heart beating the beat as the stripper strips.
Eyes tearing staring at hypnotic hips.
I’ll leave Louisiana. Flee to Mexico.
I bought a new identity,
A passport with a fake ID.
Lost weight and shaved my beard, so I don’t look like me.
I sharpen wood. I stay awake.
I sprinkle garlic on my stake.
And when I see a mirror, it isn’t me I see.
With names like Sebastian, they think they’re cool.
But these names get humans beaten in school.
And your dad says, “See that mirror there? You see a fool.
Take off that makeup. Are you a queer?
Throw out the leather and S and M gear.
This is my house, you hear? And here is where I rule.”
They’re near the door; I hear a noise.
It has to be the witch’s boys.
What the Fairy Queen is done with, she destroys.
She’ll take you home and dance all day.
When the moon appears, she’ll stop and say,
“Wake up. Let’s play with my beautiful boy toys.”
I think they’re pretty. That bothers me.
But they’re not human, so I can’t be
Feeling a type of homosexuality.
The Greek word “homo” means “the same,”
So there must be another name,
But I won’t wait to see taxonomists agree.
Right now it’s time to leave this place.
I crash through the window, cut my face.
The bleeding drives them mad with lust. They start to chase
Me, so I grab a sharpened stick.
Before they suck you, you’ll feel a big prick.
I quickly get inside my car and start to race.
A cross hangs from my rearview mirror.
Their fangs are near and getting nearer.
The Fairy Queen’s still laughing. In my mind I hear her.
I fly down the road. They fly above me.
The Fairy Queen will never love me.
If you see her dancing, don’t go near her--fear her.
One kicks in my windshield, lands on my hood.
In my lap, I hold the piece of wood.
I stick it through him, thrusting hard. It feels so good.
I lose control. Before I crash,
His head explodes. He turns to ash.
And as I smash the car, there’s smoke where he had stood.
I’m on the ground, and they surround me.
I ask Sebastian why they hound me.
Sebastian’s laughing as he slowly walks around me.
He picks me up. I think I’m dying.
I’m in his arms. I think we’re flying.
He says the Fairy Queen is happy that they found me.
I wake up in the witch’s lair.
The Fairy Queen is standing there.
She’s so damned hot. I’m frozen. I can only stare.
Her eyes, dark crystals, hypnotize me.
I whisper, “Why do you despise me?”
She combs her fingers through her long black, kinky hair.
She laughs, “Despise you? You’re nothing to me.
Screw you. You’ll never screw me.
You think you love me, but you only want to do me.
Now, I’ll remove that painful longing,
Give you a feeling of belonging.
You never loved me, dear. You never really knew me.
“It would have been an awful pity
If I had let you leave this city.
You’ve lost a lot of weight and shaved. You look so pretty.
You’ll join Sebastian and the guys.
Life sucks. Your luck is craps--snake eyes
Scar your neck, but there’s no reason for self-pity.”
She holds a mirror to my face.
My heavy heart begins to race.
My reflection fades then disappears without a trace.
I’m crazed with anger. It’s horrific!
How will I ever look terrific?
If I can’t use a mirror, I can’t go anyplace.
But Sebastian and the boys look great.
They’ll give me beauty tips and… Wait!
My foggy mind is in a strangely altered state.
These thoughts are curiously queer.
I try to make them disappear:
I think of football, close my eyes, and concentrate.
And in my mind is a sportscaster.
He says I run, so I blast past her.
The witch is laughing. She says, “Stay! Obey your master.”
And I realize that I’m crying.
Her boys are chasing me, we’re flying,
But they’re out of breath with laughter. I fly faster.
A cheap motel, a lumpy bed,
I’m on the run, one step ahead.
The Fairy Queen is always laughing in my head.
And when a human woman’s near,
Gay vampires appear.
There is no sun. I have become the living dead.
by Joe Camhi
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ghastly McNasty on
-
Just read this again. Very good poem. Good work Joe
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Permalink Reply by Joe on -
Thanks for commenting.
Ghastly McNasty said:Just read this again. Very good poem. Good work Joe
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Permalink Reply by diane carsey on -
Hi Joe
Sorry i have not been in touch since your last email. I have just re-read this poem and when i have finished on these drawings i am going to start some on this one.
Speak to you soon
Diane
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